Purrfect combo.

YES. MORE. CAT. PRINT.

Guys, you don’t even know. This was a huuLONG time coming. Yet again, a sizing snafu has come in between me and “the look.” This H&M crop top and shorts combo in its largest size, a whopping 16, was obscenely too small. Like five inches around the waist too few. I’ve bought a 16 from them before with no issue whatsoever so WTF?

I would have just returned it but the cats looked up at me with their sad little faces and cold little noses and said but I thought we found a forever home don’t take us back to the kill shelter GAH. So I found a wonderful woman on Yelp who took fabric from the top to take out the shorts. I ended up removing the sleeves and taking a little more length off the top with my own sloppy sewing machine skills just to get the right amount of “crop.” The result is a completely different silhouette but totally for the better.

Thanks for the fabric, H&M. Now get your shit together and stop half-assing plus size clothing. Or do you not want a piece of the HUNDREDS of dollars I throw down at Eloquii on the reg? Is my money too fat for you, too?

Another pro besides how obviously fabulous this outfit is is how awesome it is for getting the shit beat out of you by toddlers.

Yes that is pure glee on my son’s face as he fills his tiny first with my hair that is STILL RECOVERING from postpartum hair-loss JUST TAKE IT ALL DUDE WHATEVER. My cousin’s kid in the pink and my niece in the white are, understandably, horrified. Nonetheless, shorts. Shorts are the rough and tumble yet yoga-pants-refusing mom’s best friend. Fashion, function, no unexpected crotch shots. Add a pair of tights and you’re fool proof.