My grandma died last week. She loved boots and I wanted to look as sharp as she always did so when I was 5, she bought me 2 pairs of glittery cowboy boots—one black, one pink.
I still catch myself denying that pink is my favorite color. Whereas my little enby 10-year-old (TEN. YEARS. OLDMYGOD.) is growing up with a vocabulary that includes ppl outside the binary, I had to settle for being a tomboy at their age. I didn’t know there was a name for not being like a girl “should be” so my self actualization was all about raging against those norms. Norms like girly candy pink.
My masculine-in-many-respects ass fucking loves pink. I love the word. I love the plosive and how it feels like pepto bismal in my mouth. I love it like the world loved Andie’s prom dress in Pretty In Pink.
And I loved my grandma. Here’s the obituary I wrote for her:
Janet Louise was born January 19 in Alviso, CA. (A Capricorn. No wonder we got along.) She was one of six children and the eldest daughter. As an adult, she was an avid reader, leaving behind a personal library of hundreds of books. Janet also possessed a love for clowns and an extensive collection thereof in the forms of figurines and art, including originals painted by Red Skelton. She was also an active walker, clocking in at least five miles per day all the way into her 70s. Janet also loved gardening and the color red, as evinced by her two prized red Corvettes. She is survived by her husband of nearly 70 years, John, her children Donna, Gary, and Lori, her sister Betty, seven grandchildren, nine great grandchildren, and her many nieces and nephews and their children.
