FTM Tip #1: Phat Beatz

Zune MP3 Player
Yes, that’s a Zune. Seven years old and it still works. Suck it, iPod.

I’m currently in month four of a whopping six-month maternity leave and before the baby even popped out, I found myself bored stupid and Googling “bored maternity leave.” If you’ve done the same, you will find many a discussion thread of great but generally repetitive tips on how not to kill yourself slowly with compulsive snacking and daytime television. So, in a series I will call FTM (full-time mom) Tips, here are some things that have kept me sane and entertained thus far.

Listen To Music That Makes You Feel Cool

Not guilty pleasure music and not necessarily your favorite music, but songs and artists that you feel give you a little street cred. You know what I’m talking about, don’t lie! There is that favorite music list you would put on an online dating profile, and then there is that secret list that would only be revealed if you chose truth instead of dare. Listen to the former as much as possible. Because you will spend more time indoors and basically alone, you will have more freedom to indulge in your dirty little secrets, and that’s totally cool. But don’t overdo it. You still have appearances to keep up–to yourself. Think about it.

And While You’re At It, Get Into New Music

Search for stuff you already have on Amazon. The suggestions that pop up afterward are usually pretty legit. Ergo the baby around a local record store that has listening booths are those little red…thingy machines. Think of it this way, you are going to eventually hang out with your friends again and it would be awesome if you had something other than red butt and reflux to talk about, particularly if most of your friends have yet to spawn (whole ‘nother can of worms entirely, but we’ll get to that in due time).